My Turn: No magic wand — We have only each other to stand with
Published: 11-26-2024 10:36 PM |
Both human limitations and human resilience become strikingly evident in these multi-cataclysmic times. Stressed as I am, I find in my 80s an old childish wish arising. I want a magical transformation. I want to be instantly transformed into a perfectly contented and self-contained person. Despite my surroundings! I want to be changed as that frog was when he was kissed by the princess and lo and behold was a prince again.
I want someone to wave a magic wand over me so I can begin to accept my inevitable inner and outer changes; the tribulations of old age, and of living during the relentless onslaughts of global warming and cruel tyrannies.
The princess in the fairy tale, however, had to overcome her overwhelming fear of the frog’s ugliness before she dared see him clearly enough to take action toward his redemption and her gain self-confidence. And that may be the crux of my dilemma; pure fear. Are the disruptions and great suffering I see and feel truly the present reality that I must face without denial, despair, naiveté or in ignorance? How does one face the wanton destruction of their land? Where does peace of mind come from?
Can I partly recover some sense of inner peace by remembering that we are but social mammals; that we are without a doubt fearful, fragile beings prone to panic and exaggeration when stressed? Always in search of safety and too often expecting it to be secured by trusting a perceived strong but ultimately false leader? In that we cannot escape our genetically encoded primate behavior?
Yet I know too that this same genetic code provides us with the ability to learn. To empathize. To imagine. To remember. Each of these capacities, however, will always remain on a continuum and will depend ultimately on environmental factors. Nor can we escape the fact that uncertainty will always prevail in an indifferent and ever-fluxing universe.
Given what I believe is true of human nature, I have to conclude, of course, no magical transformation is forthcoming. Ever. Wish it as I may. But as I reflect, sadly and anxiously, I have at least relearned and recommitted to some old intentions.
I re-learned that there are redeemable aspects in almost everyone, but, at the same time, not to expect that callous sociopathic dictators will eventually be reformed. It took me a long time to surrender the fancy that there was a hidden core of goodness in absolutely everyone. Not so. Dr. Robert Jay Lifton in his book, “The Nazi Doctors,” finally convinced me otherwise.
Remorse is not a given, as I had so long imagined. Nor can we reason with those who choose to wreak war and suffering on millions of people. I also know we cannot ever control Nature merely to suit the desires of our hubristic and recently evolved species. The wisdom of the earth is unimpeachable.
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We will always remain vulnerable humans, but it is essential to offer an authentic presence to one another as a salve to panic and despair. Let others know we see them, understand their plight and pain. Every individual needs to be recognized to maintain equilibrium, indeed sanity. And let’s try and see as clearly as we can our present situation with the hope that we will not be hoodwinked into further desperate decisions.
The frog too, after all, was merely returned to being a prince by that kiss … not into a god able to rule Nature or even his own volatile emotions. Once more, he became a confused and frightened human being. Did he sometimes secretly think how much easier it had been to be a frog? Alas, on second thought, he must have realized that being a frog was really no less an uncertain predicament. Predators looked different from that perspective but they were just as real. And all he could do was leap into the unknown as we are forced to do now.
For so many years I have wondered how people in the past faced their apocalypses. I’ve read about the Holocaust, world wars, plagues, genocides, slavery, violent global misogyny, the domination of patriarchies … the list goes on and on. I still do not know how they faced it. They just did.
At best, with their eyes open. Hand in hand. Building courage together to take an active stand against hatred and tyranny. I can only trust that we will do the same.
Margot Fleck lives in Northfield.