ATHOL — “Rick” joined the North Quabbin Grandparents Support Group after he suddenly became legal guardian to his two young granddaughters.
His daughter had fallen victim to the opioid crisis and the Department of Children and Families stepped in, removing the girls, now ages 4 and 11, from what he said was a “dangerous situation.” He was given a one day notice.
“It was put in our lap,” he said. “We were in crisis.”
Rick, who has been involved with the group for a year and a half, joined after his girlfriend had read about it. He said when he walked into a meeting for the first time, “I didn’t know why I was there. By the end of the first meeting, I felt I was in the right place.”
His youngest granddaughter was born heroin addicted with respiratory issues and Rick brings her to doctor appointments. There was an episode where she didn’t sleep for six to seven days, and neither did Rick. “It’s a lot,” he said.
“It’s an enormous undertaking,” said Bette Jenks, who co-facilitates the support group with Candace Amistadi. The group meets every Wednesday from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. at the North Quabbin Patch and Family Resource Center second floor office at 109 Lumber St.
The Grandparents Support Group is a program of Valuing Our Children. After the first year, funding was secured through LifePath.
Jenks, who is also the North Quabbin Patch coordinator, said they were approached by grandparents struggling to raise their grandchildren, so a support group of about 10 people was started in 2011. She said the Grandparents Group is mostly self-directed, and describes its members as “well-established and self-determined, responsible, caring and committed.” Grandparents of any age and all walks of life are welcome to join. Currently there are about 19 rotating members who are from within the North Quabbin region as well as Barre, Montague, Westminster, Gardner and Ashburnham. “They come from various places but care very deeply,” Jenks said.
The group can also serve as a “revolving door” for some of the families when the outcome isn’t long term.
In 2018, AARP reported that an estimated 3 million older adults are raising their grandchildren. Drug addiction is a “huge” reason why, Jenks said. “How do you raise your grandchild and take care of your own child because they need you because of this epidemic? The children, caregivers, grandparents and kinship are the victims of the opioid crisis.”
“It isn’t like taking children from a very stable household,” Rick said. “It’s very dangerous. They are abused and neglected children that learned all the wrong things. You have to repair their health and mental health. It’s not just 24/7, it’s like 25/8. It’s constant.” Jenks said Rick’s grandchildren “are doing an amazing job and are coming along. What a reward that is.”
The group’s first project involved writing a letter to Senator Stephen Brewer concerning stores that were selling Kush Cakes, brownies that research showed contain melatonin which signals the body to prepare for sleep and which could put a child at severe risk, Jenks said. As a result, the company that makes the brownies removed the product from 125 stores in New England, including some that were near schools.
The group has had guest speakers, a summer picnic at Tully Lake and a holiday party for the families.
Rick, who is also a member of the Valuing Our Children’s Board of Directors, wants to increase awareness, resources and support for grandparents. He said he is amazed how far he’s come since joining the group. “A lot of it has to do with the resources I found here. It’s a lonely place when you’re feeling beaten down. I’ve learned a lot.”
Jenks said, “we’ve been fortunate being a very successful group, which is a positive reflection on the community that people are connected.”
Rick said from what he has witnessed of other grandparents, it can be very strenuous financially. “We as grandparents aren’t compensated for any of this. If we’re not taking care of them, somebody would have to. They’re not our creation. There is no break from this. We do it because we love them.”
Jenks said the grandparents are trying to process how their life went from being one way to another way. “These are really good people. They’re not doing it for the acknowledgement.”
The median age of grandparents is 55, Jenks said, and some may have their own financial struggles or housing that is inadequate or non-supportive of children. If a grandparent is living in subsidized housing and takes in a grandchild, they may risk losing it. Children under guardianship are eligible for food stamps and help from the Department of Transitional Assistance. They are also set up with counseling and therapy.
The North Quabbin Grandparents Group has received from the Commissioner of the Status of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren the Harriet Jackson-Lyons Leadership Award, and commendations from Senator Stephen Brewer, the Athol Board of Selectmen and Governor Charlie Baker and Lt. Governor Karyn Polito.
Because of the group, Rick said, “I have a lot of tools in my toolbox, and I can’t say enough about the people within these walls.” He’s learned coping skills and hopes people walk out of the meetings with a better piece of mind. “Like any other situation, it feels really good to voice out your feelings with people that you know are doing the same thing. It happens more than I realized.”
He said, “As far as raising my grandchildren, I am not just watching them and feeding them. I’m giving them every tool possible to have them be assets to the community and society.”
For more information about the Grandparents Support Group, call Bette Jenks at 978-249-5070 or email bettejenks@valuingourchildren.org. Walk ins are welcome.