Donald Trump has been elected twice. Free and fair. That’s no small feat. His second term could have been a relative layup. Close the border. Create an elite task force to arrest and deport the actual “worst of the worst” here in the country illegally. Enact tax cuts. Release the Epstein files. No tariffs. No new wars. No Knicks games. Done. His approval rating would be comfortably north of 50. And he could nap in peace — on a couch, not on national TV.
Unfortunately, easy eludes Trump. He’s often bored. That’s a problem, particularly for a punch-drunk narcissist whose confidence vastly outpaces his competence. His impromptu ideas are, well, bad. And they’re often informed or amplified by top aides like Stephen Miller, a direct descendent of Satan. Let’s be honest: things aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders right now.
At present, a pretty grim 33% believe America is headed in the right direction. Trump? He’s fixated on building a ballroom nobody wants, ruining a reflecting pool people revere, and constructing a caged ring for a televised fight — on the White House lawn. Priorities?
Following Donald Trump too closely is a fast track to the asylum. I try to tread lightly — trace the topline news and make light of the rest. It’s my coping mechanism if and until Canada graciously invades us. If you can’t laugh just a little you’ll land in a straitjacket. Like, say, when he was boasting anew about his “extreme intelligence” after posting another “perfect score” on his cognitive test. Clearly, nobody’s told him a cognitive test is different from an IQ test, identifying a giraffe is not indicative of genius, and if you’ve taken more than a few of them in a given year, well… yeah.
The gallows humor masks an ominous reality: as we approach 250 years of American independence, America is largely broken. Why? Him. Virtually everything Donald Trump touches he breaks.
He touts the stock market at all-time highs. But that’s about all he has. And it’s in spite of him, not because of him. It’s great for 401Ks and stockholders. Problem is, nearly 4 in 10 have neither. Further, roughly half of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Groceries. Gas. Health insurance. Housing. Electric bills. People can’t afford it.
It’s bad when markets are at historic highs and consumer sentiment is at historic lows. Wall Street is booming. Main Street is suffering. Which probably explains why Trump avoids rallies and interacting with everyday people like he does the gym. Or his wife. His approval numbers are at record lows, as are his numbers on, well, every issue you can measure, particularly the economy.
Trump’s cabinet is the least qualified in history. But that’s the point. He sees virtue in immorality and value in incompetence — provided your aesthetic is “central casting” and you’re willing to debase yourself to deify and obey him. Surely pardon-protected, they routinely lie under oath before Congress. They tell us America is the “hottest” country in the world right now; we’re in a golden age; never been a better time to be an American. Facts, logic, polls, and common sense disagree.
Beyond the markets — soaring on the back of an arguably AI fueled bubble — everyday people are struggling. Affordability is an anvil around America’s neck. Trump calls it a “hoax.” Of course, most Trump accusations are in fact confessions. He knows things are bad.
One reason? Tariffs. Fact. They’re taxes on the American people. Somehow, nobody told the guy with a Wharton diploma. The Fed would be cutting rates right now but for his ill-conceived, unconstitutional tariff obsession.
Another reason? The guy who promised no new wars started arguably one of the dumbest in history. Drunk off a “win” in Venezuela, he was led to believe defeating Iran would be easy. He thought he’d drop some bombs, democracy would take root in Tehran, and they’d surrender. They didn’t.
So Trump does what he always does in the face of failure: he deflects, distracts, and lies. Drowning in his debacle, he claimed Iran was mere weeks away from developing nuclear weapons. They weren’t. Thousands of lives have been lost, including brave American soldiers. Tens of billions in U.S. taxpayer dollars have been wasted. The Middle East is in abject turmoil. Global markets are in upheaval. Americans are getting gouged at the pump. Every few days, Trump assures us (curiously, right before the markets open for trading) a deal is close. When no deal materializes, he levels war crime threats.
Iran basically laughs in his face. And nobody is watching with more glee than Putin and Xi, Trump’s dictatorial man-crushes. Humiliated, if anyone is “desperate” for a deal, it’s him. Eventually, a “deal” will be reached. Trump will contort himself to sell it as a win. But it’s going to be bad. Iran will be stronger, more emboldened, and more dangerous than ever before.
He’s virtually destroyed our NATO alliance. Our allies no longer trust or respect us. That tends to happen when you extort them and threaten to steal their sovereign territory. (Though it would be nice if Trump relocated and worked remotely from Greenland.) Further, Russia and China don’t fear us.
The guy cares about three things: 1. Power, censorship, and retribution. 2. Enriching himself, family, and friends. 3. Draping his name in tacky gold on anything to which it will stick. His self-sanctioned corruption is staggering.
America’s about to throw a 250th birthday party that nobody really wants to attend.
Hard to find any humor in that.
Ben Clarke is a communications consultant. A former Republican speechwriter, he has written for political and corporate leaders across the globe, advising numerous Fortune 100 CEOs on messaging and strategy. He resides in his hometown of Greenfield.